I’m a UK size 14 and finally accepting how good I look. I’m starting to love my chunky legs and now know where to show to find items to suit me!
I’m a fashion blogger, owl lover, geek and motorsports fan.
Kinda bored of these thin girls submitting to fat-pos sites.
Maybe this girl is possibly a bit of an in-betweenie, but I’m actually kind of annoyed to see someone this thin claiming fat.
yeah uh, yeah.
When I first discovered fat acceptance, I was a size 14 - quite similar to this girl.
“Overweight” most of my life, I’d adapted really horrible eating habits to keep myself at a size 14 and tried in vain to become smaller. I had a lot of hate and contempt for myself and my young body. I would never have called myself fat except as a self-depricating insult or way of enticing my peers to deny my fatness or make me feel better about it.
Fat acceptance and fat-posi spaces took me in and taught me, without judgement. I was lucky enough to never be denied access to these spaces as an “inbetweenie” - If I had, I would not be where I am right now. I would still be stuck in my own cycle of self hate, disordered eating habits and fucked ways of thinking, afraid of fat, in denial of it.
Instead, as I struggled with my inescapable weight gain, fat positive spaces helped me cope and understand. I began to call myself fat because I was, for once, proud of the fat on my body. I owned the fact that I was “overweight” - or “fat” - and was suddenly unashamed to say the word. Unafraid of becoming as fat as my body wanted to become, for the sake of my own mental health and wellness.
At a current size 16/18, I realize the privileges that come with living on the “thinner” side of fat every single day. I have an abundance of fat on my body and am categorically “obese” by BMI standards, but I have never been denied healthcare, or had to buy a second seat or ask for a belt extender on an airplane, or had any trouble with mobility or access to proper clothing options, or a myriad of the other bullshit things my deathfat babes have to endure.
My fat experiences are valid and they are my own but I can see how they are different and I can realize why those differences exist. I am sure this girl can see that, too. If she doesn’t, maybe we can give her an opportunity to learn rather than deny her inclusion.
I realize that there are many interpretations of what it means to be “fat positive”. This way of thinking, that fat positivity has a weight limit, does not seem helpful to me - although I do understand being frustrated with seeing the same type of bodies over and over again, to some extent.
For instance, I’ve stopped following a number of fat-posi blogs that showcase nothing but proportional hourglass white-girl curves ore neglect to include bodies over a size 20. There is nothing wrong with these types of bodies, but a lack of variety and understanding of intersectionality in fat-posi spaces is, to me, the biggest issue at hand - not whether or not the contributing users are fat enough to “belong”.
So let’s not turn anyone away, please. Especially those teetering on the cusp, on the verge of trying to accept and understand their bodies for the first time. Let’s instead focus on how we can add or improve.
I suppose if you feel quite strongly about it, that is your choice to enforce in your own spaces, and I can certainly respect anyone looking to try to create better fat-pos environments for those fat bodies with the least privileges. I just feel I can do that while also being completely all inclusive, and I personally aim to continue welcoming any/all bodies in this space.
I think the real problem is not that we’re not willing to accept people for their size, it’s that a US size 12 (UK 14) calling herself fat makes US size 22s kinda of feel like crap. It’s setting back confidence. If a size 12 is fat, then what is a size 22? If a 12 thinks she’s fat, what does she think of a size 22? What about a 26? Bigger? Do you think I look gross because I’m more than 10 inches bigger around than you, and you have to cope with yourself? I would hardly call a 12 an inbetweener. A 12 is healthy, nicely sized, and the girl in the photo has good proportion.
That is why at least I don’t think she belongs here.
Right, I’m just going to butt in here, because nobody here knows the facts. I just happened to read the description ‘fashion blogger, owl lover, geek, and motorsports fan’ and realised immediately that my best friend made that submission, confirmed by the stunning photo attached.
Let me just say that she’s shrunk down to that UK 14 from a 18/20, and I’ve been her BFF for the entire journey through weight gain and subsequent weight loss. This chick still has, and maybe always will have, fat girl mentality (which, I think you’ll find, is the more prevalent element in self-acceptance than ‘size’). At her biggest, she completely OWNED it, and has always been one of the most beautiful women I’ve ever laid eyes upon - now, at a size 14, the only real difference is that she’s got the inner confidence to match the false guts she presented for so long. And no, not just because she’s thinner, but because she’s become fast and strong through running and weight-lifting, and she feels GOOD after a long period of self-consciousness and not being able to run up a flight of stairs without panting.
Why should her calling herself fat make anybody else feel shit? She has FOUGHT for that positivity, and for that self-acceptance. If that’s setting back confidence, it’s YOUR issue with yourself, not hers. Assuming that she’s going to think you’re ‘gross’ for being bigger than her is also your own insecurity talking. I’ve never met anybody less judgemental about size than her. I’m three dress sizes bigger than her and I know for a fact that she thinks I’m gorgeous and beautiful and stylish. She’s told me so regularly for nine years, and there’s never been any size comparison between us, because why would there be? It’s not important, and if she feels the desire to post herself on a BODY POSITIVE BLOG because, at 23 years old, she’s truly happy with herself at last, why the fuck shouldn’t she?
Her posting herself on a fat-pos blog PROVES in itself that she doesn’t see fat as bad, or gross, or unattractive. This is a girl who appreciates body positivity in all its forms. While I’ve watched her blossom and begin to thrum with confidence, she’s seen my own journey in turn, and she’s a woman - like me - who would love for everybody to reach that same level of peace with their own bodies.
So don’t you dare judge her by your own narrow standards, or by those of people who’ve put you down. That is the opposite of body positivity.
Way to not understand the problem at all
The problem is with your BFF appropriating a label used for people oppressed by thin privilege. If you’re not fat and don’t experience fat oppression, DO NOT call yourself fat.
Also, her calling herself fat HURTS fat people. Example here.
And I say, if she was once what some would consider “fat” but is no longer yet STILL struggles with what we fat people do (something that is extremely common) that the best thing we can do is give her a thumbs up for BEING HAPPY IN THE BODY SHE HAS.
I get that her calling herself fat may hurt some people, but then again, knowing where she’s coming from and the context in which she’s saying it, I find myself, if anything, being a little bit more accepting of my size. Perhaps not in this particular context with this example, but overall, when I see someone who has struggled and still doesn’t “fit” the modern idea of “skinny” and still celebrating her/his body? It makes it that much easier for me to look in the mirror and think, “Hey, I like what I see!” I don’t care if you’re a size 12 US or 14 UK, if you FEEL fat but can accept it? More power to you!
I also think dismissing this girl, and others like her, is no better in some ways than what some (and in my experience, ONLY some) thin people do to us big people. We look at them and think, “Oh, hey, they don’t fit MY stereotype, therefore, they are appropriating!” Bullshit.
I personally am a little tired of this “SKINNY PEOPLE (and by skinny I mean those not as big as me and therefore not FAT IN MY OPINION) NEED NOT APPLY.” And I think the braver and more open-minded thing would be to say, hey, welcome, we love you, you’re one of us, pull up a chair and have a cookie or a non-fat-vegan wrap, whatever you should so choose.
And I’m also going to say, and I’m sure I’ll get flack for this if nothing else (though consider I’m mostly ignored around here, I’m only barely worried), there is something to the idea of changing your viewpoint and adapting to new things. Perhaps to us, she isn’t “fat.” But in society at large, and compared to what women in general in the Western world are taught from nearly day one by society, she IS big. Technically, from what I understand, she’s about “average,” but considering the disdain put on what is supposedly “average,” I think it’s being compounded by a bunch of people who she and others like her thought they could relate to dumping all over them.
So instead of just getting it from the “thin” portion of society, we’re getting it from each other? There just seems something incongruous in that. In the end, like the person who was hurt by the OP’s comments on her “chunky thighs” being hurt by that statement, the OP might in turn feel hurt by a few people here essentially ganging up on her and basically saying, “You don’t belong!” How fucked up is that??